Polyvagal theory, in plain language

Most people have heard some version of 'fight or flight,' and that's a fine start. Polyvagal theory adds two ideas that, in my experience, change how clients relate to their own bodies: there's more than one shutdown state, and safety isn't an idea — it's a physiological reality.

When the nervous system reads the environment as safe, we land in what Stephen Porges calls the ventral vagal state. You can think, you can be curious, you can connect. When something registers as threat, we mobilize — that's the familiar fight-or-flight gear. And when threat feels overwhelming or inescapable, we drop into dorsal shutdown: numb, flat, far away.

Why this matters in the room

Talk therapy alone often doesn't reach a body that's stuck in mobilization or shutdown. So a lot of the work I do is what I'd call bottom-up: breath, orientation to the room, gentle movement, naming sensations before naming feelings. Cognitive reframes are powerful, but they tend to land better once the body has come back online.

A small thing to try

If you notice yourself activated — chest tight, jaw clenched, scanning — pause and slowly look around the room. Let your eyes land on three different things. Not as a coping skill to white-knuckle through, but as an invitation: 'Right now, is this room actually a threat?' Often, the answer the body gives back is no.

I'll be back here occasionally to share more on this kind of work. In the meantime, Jordan's practice is a wonderful place to land if any of this resonates.