Dr. Jordan SampleWhat we mean by “good enough”
A piece of therapy language that makes a big difference. From Winnicott, originally, but useful far outside of parenting.
A small piece of therapy language: "good enough." The British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott originally used it to describe parents. He argued that children don't need perfect parents — they need ones who are reliably present, attuned often enough, and able to repair when they fail. "Good enough" was his alternative to an impossible standard.
The phrase has aged well outside of parenting. I use it all the time with clients who are running themselves into the ground trying to be perfect partners, perfect professionals, perfect friends. "Good enough" isn't a license to slack. It's a recognition that the human-shaped standard is way below the punishing one most of us are trying to meet.
What it changes
When someone genuinely takes on a "good enough" framing — not as a slogan, but as a working standard — the cost of any given moment goes way down. A hard conversation doesn't have to be perfectly delivered to be valuable. A piece of work doesn't have to be flawless to be useful. A relationship doesn't have to be conflict-free to be real.
That doesn't mean you stop trying. It means you stop punishing yourself for being human-shaped while you do.
Dr. Jordan Sample
Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist (TX)
Dr. Jordan Sample is a licensed clinical psychologist with over a decade of experience helping adults navigate anxiety, depression, grief, and the relationship patterns that get in the way of the life they want.
Her work draws on the conviction that meaningful change happens at the intersection of warmth and structure: a relationship in which clients feel genuinely seen, paired with concrete tools for moving forward.